You're not crazy
by vulgarsound
Summary: Brittany pierce started to hear voices when she was 15.mostly brittany centric.  trigger warning for mental health issues.


"So, what do these voices-people sorry, what do they tell you to do?"

"Bad things."

"Like...?"

"Bad things"

/^/

_KILL HER_

The muscular one, puck she named him shouts in her ear.

_YEAH DO IT _

Quinn the girl with hair similar to hers joins in, striding over next to puck.

_IT WOULD BE EASY DON'T ACT LIKE YOU HAVN'T IMAGINED IT, JUST GO OVER TAKE THAT KNIFE AND SLIT HER THROAT_

Kurt, the quiet one that stays in the corner of every room pitching in with his viscous ideas once the other two are done shouting there orders.

Her mother continues to shout unknown to the battle going on in the seventeen year olds head or the three people she can't see glaring daggers at her. All she sees is a pained look and her daughter muttering to herself. Typical Brittany.

/^/

"Are these people in the room now?"

"Yes."

The man sits a little straighter in his seat, the girl stares at him with a look of complete boredom and disinterest. "Where?"

She sighs "puck is perched on the arm of your chair admiring his Mohawk and glaring at you"

_HE LOOKS LIKE A GAY LATINO MOUSE _

Quinn is sat next to me with her legs crossed, glaring at you"

_YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOUR MOTHER IT REALLY WOULD HAVE SAVED US THE TIME OF COMING HERE _

"And then there's Kurt, sat crossed legged in the corner once again glaring at you"

_YOU COULD JAMN THAT PEN OPENER IN HIS EYE AND GET OUT OF HERE... JUST SAYING_

The eerily calm voice chills the 44 year old man to the bone. "Can I ask you a question ?"

"Of course"

"Puck wants to know if you're a distant relative of Roquefort from the aristo cats."

"Excuse me"

"But mainly he just wants me to kill you and stuff you into that nice toy box, they all want me to kill you"

"Oh"

"I won't though"

"Oh good then I think, um anything else I should know" she shakes her head "well I guess we'll see each other next week I'll give you some medication to start off"

"Is that your daughter?" she's leaving but the sight of a Latina girl giving her a weird look stops her.

"Yes"

"Cute." shoots a worries look and ushers the blonde out.

"Santana, go clean your room"

"It is clean"

"Well clean it again" Santana huffs and stomps of to her room, the action is childlike compared to her seventeen long years of growing but always muses that she has never grown out of her 4 year old former self. Which Santana always replies that she doesn't remember taking a shit in her pants recently, under her breath obviously.

/^/

"How are you doing, Brittany?"

"Fine"

"Has the medication helped?"

"I guess"

"You guess?"

"There is less, only one person at a time, not three"

"Well good-"

"But they all come back when I smoke pot"

"Well you'll have to stop that"

"I like pot"

"Still you're going to have to stop" she slumps back in the couch, huffing, looking to her right.

"I know"

"Who was that?"

"Quinn... she says you're a prick"

"Well she's entitled to her opinion"

Movement out of the corner of her eye catches the blondes' attention and she sees brown eyes staring at her through the crack in the door, a smirk briefly breaks her solemn expression before disappearing. She focuses back on Dr. Lopez.

"You want to know what they like."

"Enlighten me"

"They like it when I'm with girls"

"Girls? Like romantically with girls?"

"Yes."

"Oh I apologize I wasn't under the impression you were gay"

"I'm not"

"Oh?"

"I'm bisexual"

"Right well-"

"My mother likes to joke that I'll go for anything... I don't find it funny when she does. Are we done now, I have other none therapy stuff to do."

"I suppose we could stop now"

/^/

Brittany pierce started to hear voices when she was 15. There was no traumatic incident, no sudden appearance of people others didn't see. It all started with a simple

_SHE'D BE BETTER OF DEAD_

She was a normal child right up until that moment, maybe a little more happy than the rest but normal. Then along came that voice, then a head, then a body until it was a fully-fledged human being. Kurt. And with Kurt came others:

Tina.

Artie.

Mercedes.

Finn.

Rachel.

Mike.

Sam.

They were all gone now, washed away with the years of Brittany's life. Now leaving Quinn, Puck and of course Kurt.

Puck had come about when she lost her virginity, in the bedroom of some chick from the cheerleading squad. She had no idea what to do in between fumbling hands and urgent kisses, Puck had appeared with everything she had to do and say all shouted from his position on the couch. They always started out helping her and sometimes she listened, but then they started telling her to kill stuff and hurt people and it took all she had not to listen.

Quinn came about during a fight, her naivety got the better of her and she got into a fight she had no place in but Quinn appeared telling her snarky and quick comebacks that got her out of it pretty quickly.

Kurt was always there from day one. Driving her insane.

Everyone in her family thought she was crazy or at the very least weird.

You hear something enough times….

/^/

"You need some help?"

"err yeah thanks" she takes the box out of the Latinas hands walking up to where she presumes Santana's room is the girl trailing behind.

"Cool room"

"Yeah..." Santana watches as Brittany straightens out the beanie on her head looking around her room, twitching slightly.

"I should go"

"You don't have to" she shrugs

"So Bob Marley..."

/^/

Santana Lopez was a good girl, not saintly good but she did what she was told, got straight A's and never broke the rules. And despite everyone at her schools belief she had only ever made out with one person and it wasn't really the most pleasurable experience.

She knew the stereotypes of good girls wanting someone bad and she didn't care.

She thought Brittany was hot. The whole I'm damaged goods look, with the stained cardigan and skinny jeans, she was like a moth to a flame.

After years of just creepy old men and angry children coming for therapy with her father, it was like seeing a really hot miracle when she walked out.

She isn't stupid, she knows what Brittany is there for but she can't find it in herself to care.

/^/

"What are you doing here?" Dr. Lopez storms into the room.

"We were just talking"

"Stay out of this Santana"

"I should go" Brittany says getting up and walking out the door with a saddened bye.

"What was that?"

"I told you we were just talking, why are you over reacting?"

"Stay away from her, she's dangerous"

"No she's not, she's Brittany"

/^/

"Oh here she is Looney tunes!" he shouts slurring at his daughter. Brittany ignores him "I spend hundreds on therapy and she's still crazy as ever!"

"Don't call me crazy!" she shouts

"Don't give me a reason to!"

"You know exactly why I go to therapy, I don't think shouting at me every time I walk through the door is helping with the whole ignoring the voices when all it makes me want to do is listen to them" the man shrinks back slightly

_THAT'S IT YOU TELL HIM, NOW BREAK THAT BOTTLE AND JAMN IT INTO HIS HEART_

"Shut up Kurt!" all three are in the room now shouting at her whispering in her ear, circling her like vultures.

"You see, she's insane, talking to herself, there's no one there you freak!" her hands go straight to her ears trying to stop the voices in vain as they just get louder on a loop.

_KILL HIM, KILL HIM, KILL HIM, KILL HIM._

It takes all she has not to listen

/^/

"Can we talk about Santana?"

"That would be highly inappropriate and we really should delve into your family li-"

"I like talking to her, it's like the voices go away but they leave this loud drum inside my head. The closer she gets the louder it gets. Just boomboomboomboom boom

boomboomboomboom boom. At one point I couldn't even hear her, just drumming. It was nice."

"Well I'm sure-"

"But when I leave they tell me to go back in and fuck her"

"Brittany!" she shakes her head almost coming out of a trance and a shattered look comes across her face.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that"

"No you shouldn't have."

"I apologize. Sometimes it gets the better of me" her eyes move to the window and she glares muttering words under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Puck."

/^/

After an hour of talking about her family, which she did not enjoy, she emerged from the room seeing Santana stood on the stars she was about to walk towards her when a firm "keep walking." stopped her and she left.

/^/

_YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN HER ON THE STAIRS_

Its puck debating with her as she walks home, cardigan wrapped around her to save from the cool November breeze.

"Shut up"

_GROW SOME BALLS, OR WHATEVER THE FEMALE EQUIVELANT IS, AND DO WHAT I SAY. YOUR LIFE WOULD BE AWESOME IF YOU JUST LISTEN TO WHAT WE'VE TOLD YOU._

"My life would be over if I listen to you because I'd be in prison" they glare at each other.

"Who were you talking to?" Santana comes out of nowhere startling Brittany.

"No one" flashbacks of the last time someone caught her talking to herself riddles her mind.

/

_"Please stop" her hands grip her ears trying to make them stop. Its Sam not one of the worst but still up there._

_THEY'RE ALL AGAINST YOU; KILL THEM ALL BEFORE THEY KILL YOU._

_"No"_

_JUST DO IT!_

_"I don't want to!"_

_YES YOU DO._

_"Brittany what's going on?" her older sister bursts in the room after overhearing the shouting, her mother stood beside her._

_KILL THEM NOW._

_"No she's my sister!"_

_IF YOU DON'T I WILL_

_"Don't hurt her" _

_Both women watches as the teenager crumpled to the ground crying, hands covering her ears, begging them to make it stop._

_She was in therapy the next day._

/

"Brittany" Santana's voice snaps her back into reality.

"Huh?" she tries to gather her bearings but is stopped abruptly by Santana pulling her down into a searing kiss.

It only lasts a second before Brittany pushes her away.

"Don't you want me?"

"No of course I do"

"Then what's stopping you" Brittany sighs continuing to walk down the street, in the corner of her eye Puck is smirking with a devilish glint in his eyes and Brittany shoots him a look to say keep quiet. He just continues to smirk narrowly missing a collide with Santana as she joins Brittany's side. Not that they would of collided.

She doesn't quite know what would of happened.

"We can't be together"

"Why not?"

"Gosh I don't know, maybe because everyone in this town thinks I'm nuts and I'm even starting to believe it myself"

Santana rolls her eyes "you're not crazy"

She scoffs "oh really"

"Yes really, you're just sick you'll get better"

"And what are you going to do while I get better?"

"Be there for you, we'll just take it slow" Santana pulls her down again, this time she doesn't pull away.

The drumming is defining.

/^/

This was not taking it slow. Completely the opposite. It was all too much for Brittany, the drumming was gone replaced by the ability to hear every creak in the room every stifled moan every breath she took was like being at a heavy metal concert.

"I'm a virgin"

That wasn't helping.

Situated between Santana's legs, Santana was on top but she felt to restricted and flipped them, she had no idea what to say to that.

_THIS IS SO PRESCIOUS, YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT UP, VIRGIN WANTS THE CRAZY GIRL_

Quinn appears out of nowhere right in her ear startling her

"Alright" she says in a squeaky surprised mess.

_SMOOTH_

Pucks in her other ear, and she just knows Kurt's in the corner. It's the first time in a month, since they started dating, that they've all been there and It's terrifying.

Santana is catching on fast, the pained expression and the way she's so tense it's like being mounted by an ironing board. Something's up.

_TAKE HER NOW, STEEL HER INNOCENCE, YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE_

_YEAH YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO_

_GRAB HER BY THE WAIST AND PULL HER DOWN SO YOU'RE LEVEL AND KISS HER, WHILE YOUR HAND_ -

"Shut up!"

"Britt?" Brittany scrambles off of the girl chest heaving, fists tightly clutching the bed sheets.

"I can't do this it's all too much..." she runs out the room

"Britt wait-" she tries running after her but it stopped dead by

"Why was she hear?"

"Dad..." it comes out pained as she starts to cry slightly.

"I'm going out"

"What?" he runs down stairs grabbing his coat.

"I warned you Santana, you have no idea what you're dealing with and neither does she, and now you're getting the consequences."

"What are the consequences?"

He doesn't answer just leaves with a disappointed look.

She's devastated.

/^/

She stopped running when she reached the pier. right over the edge of the rickety structure looking out at the lake.

They were all there looking out at the lake with her.

Tina.

Artie.

Mercedes.

Finn.

Rachel.

Mike.

Sam.

Puck.

Quinn.

And Kurt.

It was silent for a change, no more orders to kill or hurt, just silence. all that could be heard was her breathing.

The sun was setting and in about ten minutes it would be dark.

She blinks twice looks at the imaginary people stood at both sides at and looks down at her reflection in the water.

Her eyes are dark and lifeless, hair wind swept from running and there is a grass stain on her left cheek, probably from running into a bush of some sort.

"Why do you always want me to hurt people?"

_WE DON'T_

Artie steps up to answer

"Then why...?"

_WE SAY IT BECAUSE WE KNOW YOU WON'T_

Finn adds the others staying silent but staring at her. Rachel comes forth.

_AFTER ALL BRITTANY, WE'RE JUST YOU, YOU'RE MIND, YOU'RE PERSONALITIES, AND IT'S YOUR BRAIN MAKING US SAY IT. IT'S WHAT YOU WANT._

"This is not what I want."

_WHEN IS SOMETHING EVER WHAT WE WANT_

She pulls the box of unopened pills out of her pocket staring down at the label 'anti-psychotic'

_WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE THEM_

It's Sam who asks, running his fingers through his blonde hair.

"I didn't want to"

_WHY NOT_

"Santana was making it better and I thought I could control it, control you, but I can't"

_WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO _

"Shouldn't you tell me, you are my mind" she sighs "I'll take the pills, there's no point jumping in like I planned"

_WHY NOT_

Mike asks

"Because I don't want to" a manic smile breaks over her face and she opens the box and pops a pill into her mouth. Swallowing it dryly. "I guess I'll miss you"

_DON'T WORRY WE'LL ALWAYS BE HERE WHEN YOU FORGET TO TAKE A PILL_

Puck jokes.

/^/

By the time the Lopez's find Brittany there all gone, disappearing one by one like ghosts back into her head.

All that's left is a girl sat on a pier staring at her reflection in the water.

She finally saw what everyone else saw.


End file.
